


Going and Gone

by buskids_lovebot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-05-18 08:16:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19330660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buskids_lovebot/pseuds/buskids_lovebot
Summary: When Daisy injected herself with the Centipede serum, her powers multiplied tenfold. She’s more powerful than ever before, but the last thing she expected was for this to backfire on her. The alien concoction in her blood is causing her body to gradually shut down and her body has become a ticking time bomb. Will she save herself in time?





	1. Hideaway

Daisy’s certain she’s dying.

 

Was she just making it up?

 

Probably not...maybe?

 

When Daisy injected that centipede serum into her body, she was the most powerful she had ever been, maybe the most powerful she ever could be. Her abilities improved tenfold; She could do more with her abilities: sense earthquakes from miles away. Quake someone from the inside out. Fly further by propelling herself with her quakes. Snap someone’s neck without even touching them. Probably quake apart multiple planets at once.

 

She felt like she could conquer the world.

 

But the glorious feeling didn’t last long. A few months after that fateful day of launching Graviton into outer space, Daisy started to feel chills running throughout her body, even if it was blazing hot outside and the last thing someone would do is feeling cold. She first passed it off as a chill, a cold that will go away after she popped some pills, but the feeling persisted, the nagging feeling becoming heavier and heavier day by day. Then came the other effects. She was having more nightmares that were more intense, longer. Her hands were trembling more than ever, and every once in a while her knees felt like jello, and she needed to lie down. Jemma was getting increasingly concerned, but Daisy brushed her concern away, saying it’s just a flu bug that happened to stay on for longer. They found Fitz a few weeks ago and Jemma has more than enough on her plate with him, slowly revealing the things the other version of him did, taking care not to overshare too much at once. Daisy confiding in her about her current situation might just break that plate apart. Every night she laid in bed and thought about it. Was she dying? Probably. Her body is a cocktail of weird things - she has Kree blood, that Kree serum she got when she got shot in the stomach, Inhuman DNA and now this centipede serum. Some days when her sickness was worse, she felt like a ticking time bomb that was about to implode silently. Maybe one day someone’s gonna find her unresponsive on her bed, having died in her sleep. Maybe one day she’ll collapse and leave without any warning.

 

That time-bomb is counting down faster and faster now.

 

Tick. Tick. Tick.

 

Daisy was staring at her wrists. The clock on the countertop beside her read 12.04am. Lately, the veins in her arm were slowly darkening into black. As if she was decaying from the inside out. Currently, her veins were a lighter hue of black. Daisy felt revolted and her stomach churned as she looked at her arms, but she couldn’t turn away. It looked like black, poisonous goo was running through her veins and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Her hands trembled as her heart withered a little more. She wished Coulson was there. She’ll confide in him like she always did when she was feeling down. She would tell him about how it has been ever since he left. _It’s been lonely. I feel a little bit more empty. But look, I’m more powerful now. I can take down bad guys easier now. I can protect my friends more easily._

 

_I think you’ll be proud of me._

 

Daisy shuffled around and faced the other side of her bed. Is she really gonna go another day not telling anyone about this? If Coulson were here, he would immediately go to all lengths to get Daisy medical attention. No matter what it takes. If the roles were reversed, Daisy would do the same too. Really, if the roles were reversed for any of her teammates, she would do anything to find a cure for them. Would it be selfish to not get medical attention? What if one day she really collapses without warning? Her mind cycled through the same thought process she had over the past few nights, those thoughts increasingly familiar as they linger in the depths of her mind. _Am I going to die soon? Should I get help? What if I don’t?_

 

_Is it selfish to die like this?_

 

Those thoughts played again and again like a slideshow set to replay after it’s done. Somehow, the familiarity of those thoughts offered a weird sense of comfort. Gradually, Daisy’s eyes felt heavier and she slowly drifted into her sleep.

 

**-**

 

The sound of the alarm rings through the air and Daisy reached out to slam it off. She shuffled around the bed sluggishly and stretches, forcing herself not to go back to sleep. It was a dreamless night - lucky for her. she clambered out of bed and walked to her wardrobe to pick out the day’s clothes - a grey pullover and a pair of black leather pants. she made her way into the bathroom, set the clothes down and stared at the mirror. The girl in the mirror looked tired, her eye bags heavier, the spark in her eyes gone. Daisy brushed her teeth and washed her face, before throwing her clothes on. She brushed through her hair, now a mix of brown and blonde. She dyed it because the ends of some of her hair were greying - results of that alien concoction in her body. She heaved a huge sigh and took one final look at herself in the mirror before putting on her shoes and walking out of her room.

 

Her mind was idle as she walked to the pantry. She thought about what she wanted to do for the day: breakfast, spend a few hours training and conditioning, lunch… hopefully, a mission that can occupy her time… then back to sleep.  

 

When she last checked her wrists in the bathroom, the colour of her veins was more or less the same as last night. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of plastic being ripped apart from inside the pantry. Before stepping into the room, Daisy made it a point to pull her sleeves so that they fully cover her wrist. She took a deep breath and walked in. Mack was munching on a granola bar, his eyes fixated on a document he was reading.

 

“Morning, Director,”

 

“Good morning, tremors,” Mack replied, eyes not leaving his document.

 

Daisy walked past Mack and to the shelf, where she scanned through her options. Cereal, nutrition bars, fruits… she opened up the fridge and a blast of cold air greeted her. More fruit, different flavours of milk, some eggs… Daisy grabbed the carton of chocolate milk and placed it on the countertop. She reached for the box of Cap’n Crunch and poured it into a bowl. There was an air of comfortable silence as Daisy prepared her breakfast. After she was done, Daisy put the milk and cereal back into their respective places and walked to the table beside Mack. Nowadays, she wanted to avoid sitting beside anyone, on the off chance that her sleeves dragged down too much and her veins could be easily seen by the naked eye.

 

“So, do we have any missions today?” Daisy asked in between spoonfuls of cereal.

 

“Potentially, there’s a case right now which might require SHIELD’s attention,” Mack replied.

 

Daisy slowly nodded her head, despite knowing Mack can’t see her. She needed something to distract her from thinking about the fact that her body was on self- destruct mode.

 

“Anyways, why are you sitting alone? Are you suddenly afraid of me?” Mack poked. Despite the immense stress of being Director, Mack never lost his sense of humour.

 

“Nah, just...need some space to think about my day,” Daisy lied. She lowered her head slightly in shame, some of her curls sliding off her shoulder and occupying her view. She quickly swept them behind her ear.

 

“Alright,”

 

Daisy heard a chair grinding against the ground and the sound of the dustbin being opened and closed. Mack stopped by her table, glanced at her and said, “You have a good time thinking about your day. I’ll see you later,”. Both of them exchanged a nod and Daisy’s eyes followed Mack as he walked out of the pantry with the file in hand, his demeanour calm and cool as always. Daisy let out a sigh. Luckily Mack didn’t notice anything abnormal. Daisy quickly finished her cereal, cleaned up, and headed to the training room.

 

-

 

The sounds of a chain rattling filled the air, accompanied by the sound of a punching bag being punched hard. Daisy was giving a hard go at the bag. She always saw it as a way of releasing stress: picture whatever was bothering her as the punching bag, and punch the bag as many times as she could, as hard as she could. Today she was picturing her so to say “illness” and she was truly giving her all in aiming her blows at the punching bag. However, today was different. She felt...different, like her arms were losing the strength she once had. On a normal day, she could easily punch on for fifteen minutes at least, but today she had to stop after five. The joints in her fists felt like they weren’t oiled properly, and her muscles felt sore, even though she was warmed up. She tried to press through, but her knuckles felt like they were grinding against pinpricks every time she punched the bag. She finally relented to her body and took a break. Daisy sat on the floor defeated and unwrapped her hand wraps. Her skin looked red and tender, especially her knuckles. Her knuckles were raw and bits of skin were already coming off. Daisy’s heart fluttered. She rarely saw this before, only on the days she was extremely hard on herself and punched until she lost the concept of time. Her hands trembled harder than before, like a frail leaf in strong wind. She was strangely out of breath, and she could feel her heart pound against her ribcage. At the back of her mind, Daisy already knew why.

 

Her blood. Her illness.

 

Daisy could feel her heart drop to the pits of her stomach. She didn’t know it would become this bad. She dropped her shaking hands to the floor, her mind slowly coming to a decision. _Tell Jemma about it. Let her help you. This can’t go on any longer._

 

_This has to stop._

 

Daisy wiped her sweat away, picked up her belongings and hurried out.

 

After barely taking a few steps from the training room, Daisy caught Yo-yo pacing towards her.

 

“Meeting in five, I think we have a new mission,” Yo-yo immediately said when she saw Daisy.

 

In that instant, Daisy snapped into soldier mode. All previous thoughts were shoved aside and Daisy had a new priority, the mission at hand. _Besides_ , she thought to herself, _going on another mission won’t hurt._ She falls into the same pace as Yo-yo, and together they made their way to the meeting point.

 

-

 

Yo-yo and Daisy were the first ones to arrive. The room was filled with the buzz of various technologies working at once: close circuited footage, different screens with maps of various locations throughout the country. Mack stood at the centre of the beehive of activity, shoulders set with a stern look on his face. Upon seeing the women walk in, his gaze softened. At the same time, other team members entered the room, eager to know what was going to happen.  Mack did a mental head count before starting. Once he made sure those who needed to be here were present, he began,

 

“A few hours ago, the sensors on certain floors of the Lighthouse picked up unusual heat signatures, which came to my attention. After future investigation, we have determined that a portal of sorts has opened, very much similar to the fear dimension portal we had a year ago,” Mack presented some footage from a few hours ago, showing what appeared to be a pulsing hole of blinding white light.

 

“While we are uncertain how this portal came about, our best guess is that it is caused by us changing the timeline, thus creating this anomaly. So now, we have to close the portal,”

 

At this revelation, Yo-yo cursed something under her breath in Spanish, and everyone heaved a sigh of annoyance.

 

“So what’s the plan?” May asked.

 

“While this portal does not threaten the structural integrity of the Lighthouse, it is very much similar to the one we encountered before. To close the portal, we need to destroy every single thing that comes out of it. I already have the affected levels sealed shut, so only authorised personnel can go in. Everyone will be going in,” Mack panned and his gaze landed on Fitz and Jemma, standing with similar akimbo poses.

 

“Both of you aren’t going anywhere,” Mack pointed at Fitzsimmons, his tone serious.

 

“What- Why?” Fitz took his hands off his hips and raised his hands in a _What the hell?_ position, being taken off guard by Mack’s announcement.

“With what happened to you guys the past year, I’m gonna make you guys stay as far away from danger as possible. You guys stay put, monitor the screens and send out any further instructions from here,”  

 

“But-”

 

“No buts. Stay. Here,” Mack’s tone was final. Defeated, Fitz sighed and looked at Jemma, who simply shrugged.

 

“This threat we’re facing here is familiar. I have no idea what we will see down there, but you’re expected to remain focused no matter the circumstance. Suit up and meet back here in 10. Fitzsimmons, analyse the situation and see if any improvement can be made to my plan. Dismissed,” Mack ordered.

 

With the instruction, everyone headed off in their own directions. Daisy headed right towards her room, her mind processing the information. After much debate with herself, she decided to tell Jemma about her condition after they were done with the mission, so Jemma could focus on making sure the mission was a success. While Daisy changed, she tried to zone out the heaviness she felt in her body. The soreness from her workout had not worn out, and instead, it got worse. Before putting on her gauntlets, Daisy took a double take at her forearms. The veins in her wrist were a darker hue of black, the skin on her knuckles was peeling off, red and raw. Daisy hastily wrapped a bandage over her knuckles. She took a quick glance at herself in the bathroom mirror. She noticed that the bandages were poking out from her gauntlets, and she quickly stuffed them back so that it was unnoticeable. She took one final look at herself before leaving her room, quietly noticing that she looked barely put together.

 

When Daisy walked back into the main room, everyone was already there. Mack had his shotgun axe propped against the table, May was herself, with the usual gun tucked at her hip. Yo-yo was suited up in her usual SHIELD gear, the light bouncing off her cybernetic arms. There were other SHIELD agents as well, most of which Daisy didn’t recognise. Daisy stood there by herself, tapping her foot as she let her thoughts wander for a while. Not before long, Mack, who was discussing with Fitzsimmons, turned around and led the team to the elevator. Everyone felt the usual sense of adrenaline rush as Mack gave out his final set of instructions.

 

‘Once you’re in there, split into your assigned teams. Once you covered your assigned area, return to the rendezvous point, unless you hear from me otherwise. Stay sharp, stay clear-headed,” Mack instructed, his face held a steely determination. He turned his head to face Daisy, and offered a nod that seemed to say, “You’re on your own,”. Daisy returned the nod just as the elevator doors opened.

 

“Here we go,” Daisy said to herself quietly.

 


	2. Talking To The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy sets off on her mission, but she quickly discovers everything is about to go south. Way south.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm putting this note right in front just to warn you: it's gonna go downwards from here. prepare yourselves and enjoy.

The elevator doors slid open, revealing empty hallways lit dimly by the overhanging lights. Immediately, the other agents behind Daisy fanned out, heading into the snaking paths. Daisy herself walked to the one pathway that no one had taken. The air was still and eerily quiet. She checked her gauntlets; the bandage she tucked in before was still hidden. She proceeded, slowly putting her feet forward one after the other. She held her hands in front of the other, ready to quake at any sign of movement. 

 

All of a sudden, a creature pounced from one of the rooms. Daisy immediately quaked the screeching blur, and it disintegrated into a mix of black blood and flesh. She took a closer look at it: it looked like the creature she quaked when she first found herself in outer space, not knowing how she got there. Come to think of it, this was a similar situation: her walking down a dim path alone, uncertain of the dangers that lie in the darkness ahead. Just that now, things were even more complicated than they were. Getting a confident boost from her latest kill, she quickened her gait slightly.

 

She turned around the corner. The hallway looked identical to the one she was in before. She paced through the hallway, her senses high and alert for any other signs of life. She stopped dead in her tracks in front of a doorway the moment she heard buzzing from behind one of the closed doors. She held her ear close to the door; The voice was muffled, yet it sounded familiar. Eager to clear the manifestations of the portal, Daisy immediately quaked the door open.

 

The doors blasted open and they tumbled and clattered onto the ground. She was greeted by hooded soldiers who turned around to see the commotion. They, too, looked familiar. However, Daisy barely had time to fully register that before she gunned at the nearest soldier, who hardly had time to draw out its weapon before she quaked it into pieces. She quickly took down the other soldiers, her vision a blur as her limbs worked like programmed machinery. It was only when she saw electrical sparks emitting from the last soldier she took down did her mind click together. She saw this somewhere before.  

“Daisy Johnson,” a voice rang out from behind her,

 

Daisy whipped her head around. Chills ran down her back the moment she met eyes with the owner of the voice. Her heart skipped a beat and she suddenly felt nauseous. How did she miss him when she came in?

 

The Doctor.

 

“It’s been some time since saw one another,” The Doctor cocked his head and said calmly. His eyes surveyed the carnage Daisy laid on his soldiers without reaction. Even if he was flustered, he hid it masterfully.

 

“Don’t need you to remind me,” Daisy replied roughly. She shuffled uncomfortably, as memories of what he last did to her resurfaced in her mind. She wanted to quake him into bits and pieces right where he stood, but something in her was stopping her, telling her to wait... _ Don’t do it yet. See what he has to say.  _

 

“Don’t have to be so curt,” The Doctor, a smirk crawling onto his face. Daisy glared at him.

 

“You’re dying. Aren’t you? The centipede serum and all,” The Doctor continued after Daisy’s lack of replied. He aptly adjusted his cuff links, before squaring his shoulders and looking straight at Daisy. Another chill ran through her. Of course, he will go straight to her weaknesses, target them one by one and watch her crumble slowly.

 

“That’s none of your business, piece of scum,” Daisy huffed. All she wanted to do was to quake him into pieces, watch him turn into a pile of blood, bone and insides. Get revenge for what he did to her a year ago. Yet she was hesitating, and it was getting on her nerves. 

 

“Feisty. I like that,” The Doctor’s smile grew wider and he began pacing around the room slowly. 

 

“I see your powers have grown exponentially, ever since you got injected with that serum. You have me to thank for giving you your powers back in the first place.” 

 

“I’m not thanking you for crap,”

 

The Doctor glazed over her response and continued.

 

“Back when I was in my world,” He paused to look at his surroundings with mild disgust. “I have always wanted to experiment with the Centipede serum and its effects on Inhumans. But seeing how you ended up, I guess such experimentation will not be necessary,”

 

Daisy scoffed. If she rolled her eyes any harder, they might get stuck permanently.

 

“You do know when you’re gone, no one’s going to miss you?” The Doctor asked.

 

“W-what?” Daisy stuttered at the change of subject.  _ Don’t show weakness, don’t show him exactly what he wants to see. _

 

The Doctor’s eyes gleamed. His hands were placed behind his back as he finally stopped his slow pacing. His head was held high, his shoulders set, showing no signs of uncertainty.

 

“I’m saying, you’ll be better if you’re  _ gone _ . Of course, everyone will miss you for the first few days, weeks, months. Who wouldn’t mourn for the loss of a beloved team member and superhero?” The Doctor eyed Daisy, knowing well he had successfully got under her skin. Her water in her eyes gleamed under the light, and she was avoiding eye contact with him.

 

“But once your death sinks in, everyone will begin to appreciate that you’re gone. They’ll realise that the threat of death and destruction, goes with your untimely passing. The earth won’t risk being cracked open like an egg once you’re gone. You’re better off dead than alive,” The Doctor continued cooly, his voice dripping with deadly venom.

 

“We saved the Earth from that premise. It won’t happen,” Daisy replied. A lump was forming and gathering in her throat and her voice started to waver. She internalised what the Doctor had said and she hated that at the bottom of her heart, she shared the same sentiments.

 

_ Get it together, Daisy. Now’s not the time. _

 

“Just because you prevented that future, does not mean it will not happen again in this new timeline you imbeciles created. No one ever knows how the future will play out.” The Doctor countered skillfully. “You know it yourself, Daisy Johnson, you know well that you’re better off dead. I’m simply just bringing your inner thoughts to light, thoughts that have grown and manifested in your head,”

 

Daisy could feel herself walking right into the Doctor’s bear trap, but she couldn’t help it. He took advantage of her insecurities and wielded it like a sharpened knife to her throat. She was annoyed at herself for being stupid enough to fall into the Doctor’s trap, but the heaviness inside her kept building. The Doctor was right, she would be better off gone. In the long run, no one would miss her. Throughout her life, time and time again, she was the harbinger of death and destruction. Throughout her time at SHIELD, she constantly tried to find better ways to protect her friends from danger. But if she continued to live, wouldn’t her closest friends live out their lives with an invisible bounty on their heads? Evil people would constantly target her friends, as a means to get to the Destroyer of Worlds. She shuddered at that term. Her dark thoughts gushed out, unstoppable at this point.  _ Your very existence threatens everyone around you. Enough people have died for you; do you really want more to do so? Your death instantly puts an end to the dangers your friends and you might face. One death, your death, for the survival of your friends and family. Wouldn’t that be great?  _

 

_ Wouldn’t that be the best way to keep your friends safe and sound? _

 

“Stop. Stop it,” Daisy said through gritted teeth. Tears began to roll down her cheeks. She was unsure if she was saying it to herself or the person who stood in front of her. The anger and frustration, all the negative emotions, was building up and it was dangerously close to toppling down. Her breathing became laborious, and the corners of her lips trembled. She was searching desperately for words to protect herself against the Doctor, but the efforts come out empty.

“Face it. If it weren’t for you, your friends would never have suffered so much. In the end, you are better off dead!” The Doctor emphasised the last three words, his voice getting louder with each word. By the time the last word left his lips, his voice bounced off the walls, landing like daggers on Daisy. He stepped forward and Daisy instinctively took one back and cowered. Daisy always told herself that if she ever met the Doctor again, she would make sure she was there to witness him meet his end. Hand his ass to him and make it regret it. Now, Daisy can’t help but think about how much she failed herself. Her chest felt crushed as she sobbed quietly. She hated how she allowed herself to gave in, how she made herself vulnerable. If the mission were to fail, it was going to be her fault and her fault only. 

 

“No…” Daisy began quietly, slowly shaking her head. All common sense and logical thinking were thrown out of the window. She felt herself trembling ...wait. Was the ground shaking? She looked up and finally made eye contact with the Doctor. He felt it too.

 

The Doctor let out a low laugh as if he was soaking in self-satisfaction at an invention he painstakingly created.

 

“You’re better. off. dead.” The Doctor repeated. His words were like a corrosive acid that clung onto Daisy’s skin.

 

“No!” The word tore through Daisy’s vocal cords. Suddenly, she was pulsing with electricity; the shaking became more intense as dust and bits of concrete fell from the walls. The Doctor stumbled, leaning onto a nearby wall for support. His eyes flashed with a moment of uncertainty.

 

At that moment, it was as if a lightning strike struck Daisy; her body was super-charged with adrenaline. For the first time since their encounter, she stood taller and bigger than the Doctor. The surroundings began to shake at a higher intensity. Amid the destruction Daisy stood her ground, staring dead at the Doctor, her eyes pulsing with hatred. Her emotions were crashing down like a tower being demolished. Daisy gloated internally. Now, finally, she could end it all.

 

Daisy flung her right arm out and directed it at the Doctor. She squeezed every bit of strength out of her, channelling it into the quake she aimed at him. He barely had any time to react before he slammed into the wall hard. A loud crack and he slumped onto the floor. Daisy decided she wasn’t just going to stop there. She stepped forward, looking at the crumpled body like she was observing a specimen. Then she reached her hand out and quaked the Doctor again. A series of cacophonous cracks ensued as the Doctor’s body writhed on the floor. When she was done, Daisy stepped back.

 

She had broken every single bone in his body.

 

Staring at the dead body, a sense of triumph washed over Daisy. She had done it, she had defeated the Doctor.

 

Just as she was about to turn and walk away, it happened.

 

All of a sudden, a sharp pain hit Daisy’s head. It was as if someone hit her head - no, it might as well have been someone hitting her head with a bat affixed with sharpened nails and left it there. Daisy’s vision turned blurry with the pain so excruciating she dropped to the floor and onto her knees. Air was knocked out of her lungs as she felt her heart was being squeezed tight. She gasped for breath as her head pounded. 

 

“No, no, no,” Daisy whimpered as she tried to process what was going on. She buried her head in her hands, trying to stop the ringing pain. But in her heart, she already knew.

 

_ I’m dying. _

 

_ I’m dying. _

 

So, everything is gonna end there and then. Daisy forced herself to breathe slowly as she sat on the floor. Her body weighed heavier, lifting a limb was like lifting a bag of rocks. She pried off her gauntlets and unravelled her bandage. Her veins were the darkest hue of black now.

 

_ So this it, huh?  _ Daisy wondered to herself. Fate had a cruel hand, all she could do now was accept it. She thought about how Mack was going to look for her after realising that everyone was back except for her. He would think about that quake that rocked the floor, and uneasy thoughts would rise as he searched room after room, desperation growing, praying to God he wouldn’t see what he knew he was going to see. And once he stepped into this room, everything will change. Nothing will be the same again. But things will change for the better, after all. As her thoughts crept further, Daisy forced herself to stop. She couldn’t bear thinking further.

 

Daisy constantly mused about how her life would come to her end. Spent nights thinking about it. She would think about what her last thoughts would be, but now her thoughts are moving faster than a freight train and she could hardly grasp onto one for long. Her eyes were heavy and she tried to keep them open. But what’s the use? Death is inevitable. No one is invincible. Finally, she settled on thinking about how her friends’ lives would be after she’s gone. As she laid herself on the floor, an odd sense of calm washed on her. Her friends smiling, out of danger, ticking off bucket lists and exploring the world to admire its beauty, not because it was out of necessity.

 

All her friends would be better off. What about her? 

 

As Daisy stared straight up at the ceiling, she realised the pain in her head vanished. Maybe fate wanted to give her a moment of peace before she was gone. Her eyelids have grown even heavier, and now it was even harder to keep them open. She exhaled and let out a wisp of a smile as she latched onto one final thought: 

 

_ At least I’ll see Coulson and Lincoln again.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> congrats on reaching the end! i hope you're still okay and alive. anyways, i enjoyed writing this chapter even though it was a huge pain to do it; i do hope i did the doctor justice. again, let me know any feedback/ criticism. next chapter will be next saturday, so see you then for chapter 3 ;-)


	3. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy's life is at risk, and she finds herself in an unexpected place, faced with the toughest question she has to answer in her life. What will she do?

Daisy’s eyes flew open and drew in a huge breath that intake of fresh air electrifying her entire body. She jerked up and took in her surroundings. The floor beneath her felt cold and unfamiliar. All around her was black, and the room she’s in looked never-ending. No ceilings, no walls. Just the cold, hard floor. 

 

_ Where am I? _

 

_ “ _ Hello? Anyone here?” Daisy yelled out. Her voice reverberates around the room despite the lack of walls. No one replies. Daisy looks around frantically trying to find something, anything. A sign of life, or anything in the room. Nothing. No signs of life, nothing in this room to give away where she was whatsoever. Daisy could feel a wave of panic rise but she forced it down. Her brain flooded with question marks.  _ Think. Where were you before this? _ All she can remember is how she collapsed after crushing the Doctor alive with her powers, nothing after that.  _ Am I in another dimension? Was I kidnapped?  _

 

_ Am I dead? _

 

_ “ _ Daisy,” A voice bounced from behind. 

 

Daisy jumped and whipped her head around. A familiar figure stood there, looking at her with that kind smile he always wore. Oh god. She can’t believe it. All this time he had just been a figure in her dreams, a figment of her imagination. No matter how many times she dreamt of him, he never felt real. But now he was there. Standing there and staring at her right in the eye.

 

“Coulson?”

 

“Right in the flesh,” Coulson took a step forward, his hands comfortably tucked into his pockets, his smile never left his face and instead grew bigger and wider. He had a black long- sleeved shirt and black long pants on, his usual dressing. Before he could add anything else, Daisy sprinted right into his arms and buried herself into them.

 

“I missed you. I missed you so freaking much and now, now that you’re here, I-I have so much to say. I missed you so damn much,” Daisy’s said into his shoulder, her voice coming out muffled. Her throat tightened up and her cheeks flushed with heat. Her vision was blurry with tears and she hugged Coulson even tighter. She had been yearning for this moment for months, to see Coulson again - hug him, vent to him like the good old days- but never once did she expect it to come true.

 

“Hey, hey, hey. I know. I missed you too,” Coulson replied. He gently pried Daisy out of his arms, but still held onto her hands. Daisy was a wreck- her cheeks were slick with tears and it doesn’t feel like she will stop crying anytime soon. “Do you know where we are?”

 

“No,” Daisy choked up in her tears, trying to compose herself but to no avail. Everything felt like a fever dream. All her feelings towards Coulson and his death that she held in for a year burst open like a dam and all the water was gushing out at full speed now.

 

“This is the afterlife. You died. You don’t remember what happened to you?”

 

Daisy shook her head. She was too flustered to think straight and barely caught what he said.

 

“I’m what? Dead?” Daisy tried to blink her tears away. Her legs almost gave way at the news.

 

Coulson offered a small smile, placed Daisy’s hands tenderly into his left hand, and lifted her sleeves up. Her veins were no longer black. Daisy’s heart jumped. Come to think of it, she felt lighter., like she wasn’t weighed down by any heavy feeling. The very thing that had been haunting her is gone. It’s finally gone.

 

“You died and you’re in the afterlife. Here you no longer have to deal with the effects of the alien voodoo in your blood. You’re at peace here now,” Coulson said. His eyes moved up to meet Daisy’s, the softness in them never leaving once.

 

“B-but- the team-“

 

“As of now, they’re scrambling to resuscitate you. Your place in the afterlife hasn’t been secured yet. Think of it as you’re on the waiting list. Lucky for you, you can decide whether to stay here, or go back there,” Coulson cocked his head towards his left.

 

_ So it’s either be dead or alive. _

 

“Do-do you think I should stay here?” Daisy stuttered. Throughout her life as a SHIELD agent, she was always met with life or death circumstances. But every day she lived to fight another day, whether she liked it or not. When Lincoln died, she pushed herself into vigilante justice, hoping that one day, just one day, she would die from whatever injuries she sustained. She just couldn’t bear to live another day. After all, if it wasn’t for her, Lincoln wouldn’t have died.

 

It’s a weight she had been carrying ever since the moment she witnessed the spaceship Lincoln was on blip off the radar with her own two eyes, and she could do nothing but stand there and watch. 

 

“Personally, I don’t mind whether you stay here or decide to go back. It’s your choice. If you decide to stay here, then we can catch up, get to watch what the team is doing for the rest of eternity. I can bring you to Lincoln if you want.”

 

“Lincoln?” Daisy’s voice trembled and suddenly, she was at full attention.  _ Lincoln is here. If I decide to stay, I can see Lincoln again. For real. Not just in my dreams. I have so much to say. I wanna say “I love you” to him. I wanna tell him how much I missed him. _

 

“How much time do I have to decide?”

 

“Time doesn’t exist here but I would say not for long. If you take too long, you’ll be removed from the said waiting list and be stuck in the afterlife permanently. Then you’ll be here forever. Meaning you’ll officially be dead,” Coulson said without flinching, as if all of this was normal, like Coulson was just telling her to pick up some food for him from the pantry.

 

Daisy felt goosebumps all over her body and she shuddered. Is she going to stay or is she going to go back? Her mind raced and she grew increasingly stressed by the minute.  _ Make a decision now. Or you’ll be stuck here forever and ever.  _ She weighed the pros and cons in her mind and it felt like two children were playing seesaw in her head - the side that weighed heavier kept changing.

 

“But I’ve suffered so much back there. You know it. Going back means I’m going to experience more heartbreak. More pain. I don’t wanna put myself through all that anymore,” Daisy thought out loud. A huge part of herself felt that she should stay.  _ Don’t go back. If you go back all you are gonna do is suffer _ . But she thought about her friends. They’re gonna be  _ wrecked. _ The question she had been asking herself for the past few weeks resurfaced: How selfish is it if she prioritised herself over her friends? Her friends would definitely want her to be well and alive. Daisy sighed and runs her fingers through her hair. Time is running out, and it waits for no one.

 

“Look,” Coulson exhaled heavily. “I’m not asking you to go back and be Quake the Inhuman and quake enemies all day. I want you to go back as Daisy Johnson, agent or not. The Daisy Johnson I know doesn’t back down from challenges and never gives up. She’s a fricking strong warrior. Even if your life just happens to have more lemons, you know… just make more lemonade out of it. It doesn’t have to be sour all the time. Just because your life has more tragedy doesn’t mean it’s not worth living. It just means that...life has more lessons to teach you. So go back. I’m not gonna go anywhere. No one here in the afterlife is gonna go anywhere. We’ll still be here after 10, 20 years. You still have a lot to live for and honestly, I really enjoy seeing you kick ass. It’s really entertaining. Ultimately, my opinion doesn’t matter but yours  _ does _ . So you gotta make a choice now,”

 

Daisy drew a huge breath and closes her eyes momentarily. She turned around and buried her face in her hands. How great it’ll be to just stay here, look at everything from afar and not go through any more suffering. But she had a constant nagging feeling, like a tiny Tinkerbell, telling her to go back.  _ You’re not done living your life yet. Go live it out. Even if it means that there will be more downs than ups.  _

 

_ “ _ Alright. Alright. I’ll go back,” Daisy finally decided. When those words left her mouth, she felt like a giant boulder was lifted. As if some kind of spark just reignited in her and it wasn’t going to die out anytime soon. 

 

“Good to know. I’ll send you off then,” Coulson accepted her decision without complaint, a soulful smile returning to his face.

 

“How are you gonna do that?”

 

“It’s a secret,”

 

“Also, do you get to watch whatever we do in the present like some sort of surveillance footage?”

 

“You can say that, yeah. It’s intriguing, watching you guys is the highlight of my day,”

 

Daisy raises her eyebrows. “Do you ever wish you could be with us?”

 

“Nah, you guys survive just fine without me. I rather spectate,” 

 

Daisy could feel her throat tightening again, the familiar feeling of crying rushing back. Her gut tells her it’s time. Time to go back.

 

“I’m gonna miss you. A whole lot. You know that right?” Daisy sniffled and tilted her head upwards, hoping her tears don’t come rolling down again.

 

“Definitely. Don’t worry. We’ll see each other again soon. I’ll visit you in your dreams,” Replied Coulson fondly. Coulson still held a calm demeanour to him. If he was feeling sad or melancholy, Daisy couldn’t tell. Coulson finally let go of Daisy’s hands, much to her unwillingness. A feeling of emptiness washed through her and she immediately crossed her arms across her chest and swallowed hard.

 

“See you soon,” Coulson muttered, putting up a hand to wave goodbye.

 

Daisy lifted her hand to wave back, the corners of her mouth trembling as they uncontrollably turned upwards into a smile. She was incapable of forming any words; her vocal cords felt all tangled and messed up. She no longer cared about controlling her tears or withholding her feelings. Her heart  _ hurt like hell,  _ like someone grabbed her heart and squeezed it hard multiple times. But at the same time, she felt numb - how she got Coulson back again, only for him to get ripped away from her again. The pain was so overwhelming, it numbed her. 

 

_ I’ll visit you in your dreams. _

 

_ You better. _

 

Before Daisy could say or do anything else, everything in front of her exploded into a blinding white light.

 

-

 

“God damn it. Increase the intensity,” Jemma ordered. She clasped the defibrillator with an iron grip, her knuckles turning white. Fitz gives her a nod and she placed them on Daisy’s chest. Daisy’s chest shot up. Jemma turns to the heart monitor. It’s still flat. 

 

“Higher,” 

 

After given the go-ahead, she repeated the process. Pressed the defibrillator against Daisy’s chest, pressed a finger on the area of her neck where a pulse could be felt and hoped there would be a gentle and rhythmic thumping. There was none. 

 

“Damn it! Higher,” Jemma repeated.  _ Please wake up. Please, please, please. _ Jemma’s eyes were beginning to cloud with tears but she blinked them away. She could feel half a dozen pairs of eyes weighing on her. All she could remember was Mack yelling into the comms, his voice strained with panic, ordering Jemma and Fitz to meet him at the elevator. Racing to the elevator area with Fitz and hoping it wasn’t what she thought it was. Seeing Mack carry Daisy’s limp body, realising her worst thoughts came true. Dropping to her knees and yanking out the equipment. Jemma snapped back into focus; she pressed the defibrillator against Daisy’s chest again. Praying to any sort of entity that can hear her:  _ save her. Save her, please. _

 

_ Please _ .

 

Daisy’s chest jerked even higher this time, before falling back onto the floor with a thump. Jemma prepared the defibrillator once again and time seemed to slow down. A wave of deja vu overcame her, as flashes of an unresponsive Daisy lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood after she got shot resurfaced. She shuddered and pushed those thoughts of her mind.  _ Please have a heartbeat. I’m not ready for you to leave me yet. _

 

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, she pressed her finger to the same area again. A faint, regular thumping. At the exact same time, Daisy’s chest began to rise and fall softly. Jemma sucked in a deep breath as if lightning ran through her.

 

_ She’s alive _ .

  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Winds of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team scrambles for answers as they attempt to make do of the situation. But decisions aren't always easy to make.

The atmosphere was solemn as Deke stepped into the base. Everyone was always rushing somewhere, but today it seemed like everyone shared a higher sense of urgency.

 

“How is she?” Deke asked, his heart filled with trepidation.

 

“She could have been dead by now, but she’s a fighter,” Jemma responded with a weak smile. Jemma’s heart swelled a little with pride; Daisy was always a fighter, even in the toughest circumstances.

 

Deke softened slightly upon hearing her response. He received a transmission a day ago from Jemma, informing him of what happened. From the moment he heard the news, his heartbeat hasn’t been beating at a normal rate. Whenever he imagined Daisy lying on a hospital bed, goosebumps rang through his spine.

 

“Good, great- I mean, it’s not great that she’s like that, but it’s good to hear that she’s fighting,” Deke stammered. Jemma accepted his response in silence and quickened her pace.

 

Deke skipped forward to catch up, and they brisk walked in silence for a minute.

 

“She’s in there. I’ll see you in a bit,” Jemma said as she stopped right before a door, opening it so that it’s slightly ajar.

 

Deke stepped into the room, a wave of cold air hit him. Seeing Daisy right there, lying in that bed with tubes snaking out of her body, made his chest empty and his stomach droop. Jemma did inform him of what to expect when he entered the room, but the reality was just hitting him like cold menacing waves of the sea. He slowly shuffled into the room, taking in the surroundings. All was quiet, except for the steady beeping of the heart monitor. The cabinet beside her bed was covered with gifts from well-wishers, from a bunch of daisies to a little brown teddy bear holding onto a small red heart. Deke settled down on the chair placed on the left side of the bed while taking in Daisy. Her hair was in two loose braids, courtesy of Yo-yo, who came in to visit right before him. Strands of hair that came loose covered her forehead, and Deke gingerly brushed it out of her face.

 

“Hey,” Deke started off, the corners of his lips turning slightly upwards. If he focused hard enough, Daisy may just look like she just fell asleep on a hospital bed. But he knew with all that imagination he still can’t escape the truth. 

 

“Uh, so Jemma told me about your condition. She said given the severity of your condition, there was a higher chance you would be dead than not by now. But you still fought. Of course, you did. And you’re still here with us. That’s great,” Deke scanned Daisy up and down, his eyes landing back to her face. 

 

“So, uh, these past few months I got to travel around the world. It’s eye-opening, exploring so many places I only got to read from old books in my time. I went to the Eiffel Tower, and it’s just so massive and pretty. The Leaning Tower of Pisa: don’t really know how a building can tilt like that but it’s cool. And I managed to find Zima in every country I went to, but those sold in Paris were like, thirty bucks, which is in my honest opinion, extortion. The ice cream in Rome was  _ delicious _ , not sure if it’s pronounced jee-lah-to or jur-lah-to, gotta put a mental reminder to find that out later,” Deke pauses and stares at Daisy’s exposed wrist, quietly noticing that the black veins that Jemma mentioned were still there. He exhales and continues on.

 

“I heard from Jemma that you guys explored outer space these past few months. She did mention the Outer Rings and you guys going into the very centre of the Milky Way. And Kitson! I can’t wait to hear from you about what happened there. Been there once: quite an amount of attractive people there but it’s just a mess overall. Funny how the person who spent his life in space is now venturing Earth, while you are doing the opposite,” As Deke went on, he carefully pulled the sleeve of Daisy’s hospital gown over her blackened wrist and laid his right hand over her left, giving it a mild nudge.

 

“I hope you wake up soon,” Deke sighed. He was running out of things to say, and he wasn’t doing a good job with hiding the desperation in his voice. “It kinda sucks having a one- way conversation with you. I wanna hear all the things you did in space, just as much as I wanna tell you more about what I did here,”  Deke paused for a longer time now, letting the silence slowly settle around them. He stared straight ahead, the metal cabinet filled with medical supplies suddenly becoming very interesting to him. The silence gets interrupted by a rap on the door.

 

“Team meeting in five. Thought you might wanna be there,”  May informed. She stood at the doorway, arms behind her back with shoulders set.

 

“Got it, thanks,” Deke turned his head ever so slightly around and replied. May gave a small nod towards him and walked away, probably to the main room, where the meeting would most likely be held. Deke turned back around. He gently adjusted Daisy’s blanket so it covered up to her shoulders. He took one last look, said a silent goodbye, and walked towards the main room.

 

When Deke entered the room, everyone was already there. The room was cleared of anyone else. May, Mack and Yo-yo were huddled in a group, deep in whatever they were discussing. Fitzsimmons held a tablet each in their hands, their gazes continuously bouncing between their screen and the other’s as they were engrossed in their own conversation as well. His arrival seemed to catch Jemma’s attention, who flicked her head up and smiled when she saw her grandson walk in. She and Fitz finished off and she cleared her throat, catching everyone’s attention.

 

“Since everyone’s here, we can begin,” Jemma began. She gave a firm nod to Fitz, who flicked something on his tablet screen, which in turn caused the bigger screen behind Jemma to change.

 

Jemma squared her shoulders and began. “Everyone here should have a rough idea of what happened to Daisy, and I’ll go into detail. As you all know, Daisy got injected with the centipede serum a little more than a year ago. While it worked well for her at first, it slowly caused the cells and muscles in her body to degenerate, due to the powerful concoction of inhuman DNA, centipede serum and GH-325 in her cells. For the unknown, GH-325 is a fluid derived from Kree blood, capable of rapid healing by encouraging advanced cell regeneration.” The screen showed countless molecules attacking one another, like enemies fighting to the death. “The GH-325 and centipede serum began to counter-interact, causing a backward effect on Daisy’s body. Her cells were slowly incapacitated and ineffective in serving their functions, thus tissues in her body started to malfunction, her organs slowly but steadily failing. Daisy’s current condition is the result of months of buildup, so it means she kept this from us all this while,” There was a hint of frustration in Jemma’s tone. “At this stage, irreversible damage has been dealt. Fitz and I have been trying to come up with ideas on how to regenerate her tissues and organs, while simultaneously stopping the cells from her body from multiplying and spreading further,” Jemma’s gaze swept over to Fitz, who took it as a cue to take over and stepped forward.

 

“So, Jemma and I discussed and we feel like this is the best we have currently,” He swiped on his tablet once more and the big screen changed, showing how their soon-to-be-explained method will work out. “We had this concept to build a machine whose function resembles a dialysis machine. Dialysis machines help patients of kidney failure to remove metabolic waste from their bodies. So the line of thinking for our machine is the same, just that what it removes is something else: the centipede serum. We will run every drop of Daisy’s blood through the machine, and it will filter the centipede serum out. Even with the filter, it doesn’t guarantee her body would be absolutely free of centipede serum. So for the best, we are planning to remove the GH serum in her blood to prevent future complications. But, there’s a catch. The Kree DNA in her blood has become a part of her own Inhuman DNA. So if we want to remove the GH serum, remove the Kree DNA, we need to remove her Inhuman DNA too,” Fitz paused to catch his breath, as well as let the team absorb the truckload of information they just dumped on them. 

 

The room was in stunned silence for a while before Mack spoke up.

 

“So what you guys are saying,” Mack began cautiously, slowly piecing his words together, “is that since you’re removing her DNA, you’re removing her powers? She would be permanently powerless?”

 

Jemma and Fitz glanced at one another, certainly exchanging silent words, and Jemma answered his question.

 

“We will try to use Daisy’s old blood samples and data to replicate her DNA in a way that it only has the Inhuman DNA, but I can’t guarantee success. Furthermore, we still have to see if her body can accept this new type of cells injected into her body. Keeping in mind she is still incredibly weak right now, I would rather leave her cells alone than try to inject new ones and see if she can adapt to it. It’s not worth the risk. Furthermore, I don’t think we have any more terrigenesis crystals anywhere on this planet, neither do we have the capabilities to recreate it. In the future, we might find new means to replicate Daisy’s DNA in a way that it’s safe for her body. But ultimately, it’s Daisy’s decision as to whether she wants her powers back or not, ” Jemma answered expertly as she set her tablet down on the nearby table.

 

“Are there any other solutions? One that doesn’t involve her losing her powers?” May asked.

 

“We can spend another few days, research another viable solution. But it’s not very ideal to do so; the tissue’s in Daisy’s body are degenerating quickly. If we push this a few days behind, her body might be too weak to handle any kind of procedure, and I’m afraid at that point the only thing we can do is watch her die,” Jemma replied with a heaviness in her voice. The circles under her eyes have gotten darker, Deke noticed, and the set of her shoulders grew heavier with every passing day.

 

A shudder ran through everyone’s body at that. The atmosphere in the room was much tenser and heavier now, everyone’s minds racing for another solution, an alternative, some other way out of this. But at the back of everyone’s heads, everyone knew: if Fitzsimmons couldn’t come up with a better solution than this, what makes them think they could?

 

Suddenly, an urgent beeping sounded from the tablet Fitz was holding.

 

  
  



	5. Out of Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a race against time as the agents try to save Daisy's life.

 

Everyone jerked their head up, eyes wide open with surprise.

 

Jemma quickly stepped over and her eyes scanned the screen at lightning speed. No one but Fitzsimmons knew what that sound meant, but it did _ not  _ sound good.

 

“Med bay. NOW!” Jemma ordered, almost shouting.

 

Once the order left Jemma’s lips, all was abandoned as the team made for the medical room, all thoughts about what was happening just seconds ago vanished immediately. A hoard of heavy footsteps echoed in the hallways as a small path was made for Jemma to squeeze her way to the front of the crowd. Everyone that stood in their path was immediately shoved to one side (although apologies were dealt out at the same time) or voluntarily squeezed themselves against the wall or sidestepped into a room to make way. 

 

Jemma was on high alert, adrenaline pumping through her entire body. When she entered the room, her eyes went straight to Daisy. She was convulsing badly, her entire body shaking and jerking. The heart monitor was emitting high-frequency beeps, which did not help with the situation.

 

“Help me,” Jemma half pleaded, half ordered. Seeing her friend having a seizure slapped her across the face with such a strong sense of deja vu, but she had to shove it away and focus on the current situation. Muscle memory helped her calm down, as she barked orders for equipment and medicine to be brought out. Mack and Fitz were trying to hold Daisy down, while the rest stood at one side of the room, not wanting to be a hindrance to the emergency. Jemma pulled out a drawer from the cabinet right beside the bed. In there laid all the medicine and injection she needed in a worst-case scenario, one such as this. She pulled out the syringe filled with the agent needed to terminate the seizure. Her mind flashed to a few hours ago, where she modified the contents of the anticonvulsants to be more concentrated, more effective, more powerful. Made for a body system like Daisy’s.

 

Jemma thanked her lucky stars profusely that she prepared this.

 

“Hold her down firmly,” Jemma instructed. Her heart was beating hard and fast and she felt like it was lodged in her throat. She quickly swabbed a small area of Daisy’s neck, before injecting the needle into the skin and pressed down on the pump. She stepped back ever so slightly as the intensity of Daisy’s seizure dwindled down, and she slumped back into the bed, forehead covered in beads of sweat.  Everyone in the room exhaled in relief, as the beeping from the heart monitor returned to a normal pace. Mack took his hands off Daisy, processing whatever just happened. Jemma immediately started checking Daisy’s vitals, trying to stop her hands from shaking but to no avail.

 

“She’s too weak now. One more seizure like this, it won’t be good,” Jemma concluded as she finished her check-up. Her nose felt singed as she forced those words out of her mouth.

 

“Turbo, Simmons,” Mack began. He leaned on the wall with one hand, his face buried in the other. “I want that thing of yours to be built ASAP. We can’t afford to waste any more time. Any materials you need, I’ll try to get them for you immediately,”

 

Jemma whipped her head to meet gazes with Fitz, who was on his tablet. A silent agreement was made: they would have to build this machine at breakneck speed. Everything and anything else they had on hand would be tossed aside for this. Whatever it takes to save their best friend.

 

“Understood,” Jemma and Fitz said at the same time. 

 

-

 

From then on, day and night were blurred into moments of constructing, research and loading up on coffee. Everyone was doing everything they can to help, in ways big and small. Everyone took on shifts to keep bedside vigil with Daisy, to make sure nothing happened or if there was, the response would be swift and immediate. May became Fitzsimmons’ temporary food deliverer, making sure both of them were eating well by sending in food every few hours. The team was fighting against time, and Daisy’s life hanging on a thread so thin it could snap at a light touch. The past few days had been a frantic and stressful blur, but at last, a working prototype of the machine was built. Jemma had checked the prototype’s workability so many times that she lost count. When she and Fitz finally informed the impatient but understanding Mack, he immediately ordered the machine to be used. As Jemma headed to the med bay first to prepare for the procedure, Fitz and Mack wheeled the machine there.

 

They walked quickly in silence until Mack spoke up.

 

“These past few days… it hasn’t been kind to anybody,” Mack began, he carefully eyed Fitz, waiting for a response.

 

“Yeah, but Daisy’s had it worse. She has been suffering for who knows how long, and all because she didn’t want to implicate the team. And now she’s lying on what could possibly be her deathbed,”

 

Though Fitz didn’t say it, Mack knew what Fitz really meant.  _ She didn’t tell anyone because everyone was focused on finding me. She didn’t want to hinder anyone because any further delay could possibly mean the team loses me forever. She felt that finding me was the most important, that she will spend every last drop of energy finding me, even if it meant dying for it. _

 

“Turbo, it’s not your fault,” Mack said softly.

 

“It’s just…” Fitz buried his face into his left hand. “I can’t help but feel guilty about it,” 

 

“All of us had some part. She’s been spending so much time with us and none of us noticed,” Mack replied, his mind flashed back to the times where he noticed Daisy looking under the weather or troubled, but didn’t pry about it. An uneasy feeling rose in his gut.

 

At the same time, they reached the med bay. They positioned the machine besides Daisy’s bed and uncoiled the tubes hung on the hook. Jemma went to work, swabbing the right side of Daisy’s neck and made a small incision. She slowly inserted the needle, followed by guide wires. After a minute or two, Jemma reached for the stitches and stitched the incision up. She carefully inserted the tubing, then attached the tubing to the machine. After double checking everything was correct, she flipped the switch on.

  
  


A whirling filled the air as Jemma switched on the machine. Black fluid flowed out of the tube snaking out of Daisy’s neckline. Mack and Fitz watched keenly as Jemma checked the machine again and Daisy’s vitals.

 

“I already altered the machine to operate at maximum capacity. But since her body has millions of cells, it’s gonna take at least a day or two. We can only wait,” Jemma announced after a minute of silence. 

 

“That’s good. These past few days have been hard on you, try to relax for now,” Mack said.

 

“You know we can’t,” Jemma replied, her eyes darting to Daisy on the bed. 

 

“Try, alright?” Mack remarked. Jemma and Fitz could only nod their heads as Mack patted Fitz on the shoulder, gave Jemma a reassuring look and left the room, his gait seemingly lighter as compared to when he came in.

 

Both of them watched Mack walk out of the room. Their eyes lingered on the doorframe before they turn to face Daisy.

 

“So…” Fitz rubbed his chin and bit his lower lip. He scanned Daisy and eyed Jemma. “What are we going to tell her when she wakes up?”

 

Jemma inhaled deeply, considering her options. They had to address the elephant in the room sooner or later, that Daisy would find out she doesn’t have her powers anymore. Then came the question: how would she react?

 

“I don’t think we should tell her the moment she wakes up,” Jemma rubbed her right thumb on the palm of her left hand, her thoughts ran wild; her mind was coming up with mindmaps, what would happen when she went with one method of revealing the truth to Daisy, what would happen if she went with another. Then what would be the domino effects? She felt the same way as that one time she played Bandersnatch with Fitz, obsessing over the consequences of their choices. But this was different: no starting over if they got it wrong. 

 

“Alright. I’m thinking we let her recover first, then we reveal it when she’s better. I’m just afraid she will pry,”

 

“If she pries, tell her she can’t use her powers  _ for now, _ ”

 

“Fine with me. I’ll let the others know. If anyone should tell her about this, it’s you. You always know your way around these kinds of things,”

 

Jemma’s eyes flitted between the machine and Daisy. If not for the tubes, she would have looked ethereal. Her heart grew heavier and she sighed. Fate was cruel in several ways than one, sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s lightning strike aimed at you. She ran through the different reactions Daisy would have. Her gut didn’t feel so good. 

 

“That doesn’t make it easier,”

 

It never would be.

  
  



	6. Calm Before The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Daisy wakes up.

__

Daisy’s eyes fluttered open. The piercing lights above made her shut them. She turned her head slowly, stirring.

“You’re awake,” A familiar voice rang from somewhere, the tone warm and soft.

Daisy squeezed her eyelids and slowly opened them again, letting her eyes get accustomed to the light. She turned her head to the source of the voice. Two people were standing in front of her. Their faces were blurry smears, but she already knew who they were.

Jemma and Fitz.

Jemma turned around and nodded to Fitz, who gave Daisy a small smile before walking out of the room. Once he left, she turned back to face her.

“Hey,” Jemma leaned forward and gently pushed Daisy’s hair behind her ear, a small smile hovering on her lips.

“You’re awake,” This time, it sounded like a relief. Jemma was not only saying it to Daisy, but she was also saying it to herself, making sure it wasn’t a dream. 

“Hi,” Daisy croaked. Her throat was dryer than sandpaper and she winced when she swallowed.

“Oh,” Jemma, suddenly remembering that Daisy hadn’t drunk water in days, poured a glass of water into a cup. She plopped a straw into the cup and held it to her mouth. Daisy gingerly sat up, put the tip of the straw into her mouth, and sipped. It was as if a dam broke and flowed onto drought land, her throat no longer felt so dry and uncomfortable. After taking a few sips, Daisy laid back onto her pillow and Jemma placed the cup on the cabinet beside her bed. 

“Where’s he going?” Daisy eyed the doorway, where Fitz just walked out of a minute ago. Her voice still cracked, but at least her throat wasn’t so parched as before.

“He’s going to fetch the others. They’re going to be absolutely  _ delighted _ to see you up,” Jemma replied, a spring in her voice.

The others. May, Yo-yo and Mack.

Daisy silently processed this information. Her brain felt like an old computer running a new programme it wasn’t built to run. Everything was lagging and information was being downloaded at an excruciatingly slow rate. She attempted to trail back to what she last remembered. Then a jolt woke her up.

She lifted her arms and began to pull down her sleeves. Her veins were back to faint green, visible only at her wrist. She inhaled deeply, the cold air prickling her airways.

“Th-The illness. It’s gone?” The words left her lips as a whisper, but Jemma caught it anyways.

“Yea. It’s gone,,” 

Daisy was in utter belief, yet she immediately accepted the news with joy. The illness, the big pain in the ass for months, was finally gone. Daisy glowed. She didn’t care how; all she knew was that her illness was gone forever. And that was more than enough.

A knock on the door distracted her. Fitz was standing at the entrance, with Mack, Yo-yo, May and… Deke?

“Come in,” Jemma ushered as she stood up from her chair to make way for the newcomers.

The joy on everyone’s face was immeasurable as choruses of “You’re finally awake!” filled the air.  Yo-yo bent down to gently hug Daisy, before settling down on the chair Jemma just vacated. Daisy scanned everyone that was in the room. Their wide smiles were definitely a sight for sore eyes.

“How long was I out?” Daisy asked.

“About a week. We missed seeing you walking around the base,” Deke chirped in reply.

Daisy’s heart warmed at that response.

“Do you remember what you did last?” Mack enquired.

As if on command, memories of what she last remembered came back slowly, trying to piece themselves into a coherent puzzle.

“It’s okay if you can’t remember now,” May added when Daisy left the question hanging in the air for a good minute.

“No, no… I remember a mission… to close the portal?” The team  nodded in unison. Daisy slowly remembered Mack’s speech, though she couldn’t recall what he said exactly. Her stepping out of the elevator and into an empty hallway. Finding any portal manifestations and killing them. But after that, she can’t remember what happened next.

“I…” Daisy’s darted from side to side. “I can’t remember what happens next,”

Right at that moment, the team exchanged glances. Daisy couldn’t tell what silent messages they were passing to one another.

“Is there... something wrong? ” Daisy let out. She sounded, even looked like a little girl; her voice was filled with childlike innocence and full of uncertainty. Her eyes filled with worry.

“No, there’s nothing wrong.  Don’t stress yourself out too much trying to remember. Take your time,” Mack replied, the words tumbling out of his mouth. Once again, the team nodded.

Daisy could feel herself shrink into her bed. She knew something was wrong. The team was hiding something from her. But prying definitely would not work. But she couldn’t remember anything no matter how hard she tried. She wrestled with her brain, trying to recollect but it was useless. The only concrete thing she could remember was her walking down an empty, dingy hallway.

“Alright,” Jemma interrupted her train of thought. “I’ll need to do some check-ups, so you guys can come back later,”

It seemed the entire room was grateful for that turn of events. A chorale of “I’ll see you later” rose and everyone but Jemma left the room.

When the last person closed the door, Jemma whipped her body to face Daisy.

“You, young lady, are going to spend this next month recovering. Means no missions whatsoever. May will train with you to keep an eye on what you’re doing. The bones in your hands are still healing so no punching bag for the next few months,” 

“What the hell? But-”

“No buts. I just want what’s best for you. So no powers, no punching and fighting for the next few weeks. Mack’s already arranging administrative work for you to do,” Jemma’s tone was harsh, final.

Daisy slumped back into her bed, feeling stubborn. Her brain detested even thinking about how boring her life would be for the next few weeks, and she was sure she might rot from boredom.

The silence hung in the room for a while, as Daisy watched Jemma work her way through like the professional she was. There seemed to be a lot on her mind. When Jemma was almost done with the check-up, Daisy gave one more last-ditch attempt.

“Really? No fighting for the next few weeks?” Daisy tried to make herself sound as pathetic as possible, trying to garner some sympathy points.

“I see what you’re trying to do. No,” Jemma replied without even looking at Daisy. Fully accepting defeat, Daisy dropped her act. There’s no way she can argue around Jemma, which was both a blessing and a curse.

“Look,” Jemma exhaled and set down her tablet. “Take this as an opportunity to rewind, take a back seat to the action. It may not look like this right now, but I promise: it’ll help a lot. You’ll gain some perspective and learn new things!”

Daisy was fairly certain the only ‘new things’ she can learn was how low her threshold for boredom would be. It’ll probably be lower than the lowest level of the Lighthouse.

“Fine. If I die of boredom it’s 100% your fault,” Daisy huffed, annoyed. 

“Now that’s the spirit. And I promise you won’t die of boredom. Take care of yourself and I just might let you slowly go back into combat in two weeks,”

“I’m not a child. You don’t have to bait me like that,” Daisy said, though a small part of her lit up when she heard that.

“But you sure are acting like one right now,” Jemma replied in a cocky manner.

Daisy gave Jemma a deadpan look in response while Jemma looked smug and chuckled lightly.

“Alright, all vitals are looking good as of now. Take a nap and I’ll wake you up for dinner,”

Despite having just woken up, a wave of lethargy washed over Daisy and she settled back into her bed. Jemma tucked her in, walked over to the switch and switched it off. Daisy’s eyes grew increasingly heavier and sleep quickly took her under.

-

The next month was filled with uneventful days, plain food and physiotherapy sessions. Daisy didn’t know how she managed to fracture every single bone in her hands and she got no luck trying to recollect what happened to her on that fateful day. Any attempts to get her teammates to divulge were fruitless, all she got were variations of “It doesn’t matter, what’s important is that you’re here now,”, much to her annoyance. Soon this took a backseat in her mind, and she focused on getting stronger and better. She tried to do physiotherapy every day, to strengthen the muscles in her hands faster, get back to the field in a shorter time. She trained not too much but just enough, so she won’t give Jemma any valid reason to stop her. She got better, slowly but surely. She anticipated the day where she could finally use her powers and not risk fracturing her hands. Jemma barred Daisy from using her powers, telling her that once she did it, she will be guaranteed paperwork only for another one month. That was more than enough to deter her.

After some bargaining with Mack, she was allowed to do behind the scenes work for missions. She would stand in the middle of the beehive of activity in the main tech room and give off instructions through the comms. It had been a long time since she took a backseat to the action, and she did indeed enjoy herself. Much to the point she jumped to be in charge of command during missions.  Mack, seeing how much she enjoyed it, started giving her full rein in command, himself joining the action on location once in a while.

May and Yo-yo helped Daisy with kickboxing and any other fighting she could train for without using her hands. She also helped them train newcomers, keenly observing them spar and fight while looking out for mistakes. Seeing them train made her heart brim with warmth; a new generation of SHIELD agents working hard to become better, to become the face of SHIELD. It made her nostalgic, seeing agents commit the same mistakes in fighting as she did years ago when she first began, stumbling around rather clumsily and not having the right postures. 

She and Deke helped, or at least tried to, Fitzsimmons in the lab, or get them anything they needed for research or building new equipment. Deke was still the same flustered mess as ever before, speaking too quickly and stumbling over his words whenever he spoke to Daisy. But they did have fun, whether was it walking around the Lighthouse to find some equipment, or Daisy forcing him to help her with the paperwork.

The time off was indeed a healing time for Daisy. She stepped back, gained some new perspective and vigour she lost along the years. Maybe Jemma was right all along: it was therapeutic and helpful. But of course, she’ll never tell Jemma that.

__  
  
  


__  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! this chapter was supposed to be waaay longer but I decided to give you guys a break from the drama and just like Daisy, take a step back. But your regularly scheduled programming of angst will return next week, and it’s a particularly lengthy chapter so brace yourselves... but for now as usual, I appreciate any feedback you have!


	7. Fractured Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitzsimmons have a talk about Daisy’s powers.

__

“Has Daisy asked you anything about her powers recently?”

“No. Why?”

“It’s just…” Jemma shuffled on the bed. “I don’t like this, Fitz. We’re keeping such a big secret from her,”

Fitzsimmons were settled in their rooms after an uneventful day at the lab. After Fitz made some dinner for the both of them, they retreated into their room. They were sitting side by side on their beds, watching some Netflix makeover show on their television. Jemma was comfortably lying on Fitz’s chest and shoulder while Fitz leaned against the headboard, his arm looped around her, his fingers twirling her hair once in a while.

“She’s not asking about it. As long as we don’t reveal anything, she won’t ever know.” Fitz replied, his gaze fixated on the TV screen. 

“But,” Jemma broke her gaze on the screen and propped herself up with her left arm and turned to Fitz, her eyes narrow. “Do you really think we can keep it from her forever? I only told her she can’t use her powers for  _ a month _ . What am I supposed to tell her after that?”

Fitz was pensive and Jemma could see thoughts forming and racing in his head. After a moment, Fitz reached for the remote to pause the show and positioned his body to face her. The room fell into silence.

“You can… tell her there’s complications and she can’t use her powers for another month?”

“That can’t do. We can’t run away from it forever. I discussed this with Mack; he feels that the team truly can’t be honest around her if we continue with this. We can’t hide it forever, Fitz,” Jemma retorted. Fitz clicked his tongue and took an exasperated breath.

“You aren’t wrong… We should tell her. But do you think you’re ready? Whether  _ she’s  _ ready?”

Jemma shifted uncomfortably in her position at his response. Not a single day went by where she didn’t think about the day Daisy would finally find out. She dreaded it as much as the next person, but she knew it was a necessary evil. After all, the truth would always prevail.

“Then we’ll do it. You and me. Find her and tell her,” Jemma said slowly, enunciating every word slowly.

A pause. Fitz closed his eyes and exhaled deeply.

“Fine. We’ll do it now. Nothing better than the present,”

-

“Daisy?”

Daisy perked her head up from the bowl of crackers in front of her. She turned around and there were Fitzsimmons, standing under the overarching entrance to the pantry.

“What’s up?” Daisy chirped. She picked up a cracker and popped it into her mouth.

Jemma walked ahead of Fitz, towards her. She looked uneasy and wrung her hands repeatedly. Jemma’s usual tics when something was awry. Daisy’s stomach started to churn.

“So,” Fitzsimmons settled down on either side of her. “We want to talk to you about your powers,”

“What about it?” Daisy raised an eyebrow. The feeling in her stomach grew heavier and she stopped reaching for her crackers. She did not like where this was headed.

“Do you know why I told you that you can’t use your powers for a month?”

“Because...I somehow managed to fracture every bone in my hands and if I used my powers I would hinder my recovery? And get murdered by you?”

Jemma chuckled quietly and looked up at her with watery eyes.

“It’s also because of something else,”

“Which was…?” Daisy squinted. She wasn’t quite sure if she was following.

“When you went down that day, something happened. Do you remember what?” Fitz broke his silence by asking.

Daisy shook her head. The last thing she remembered was the ground rumbling, the pillars collapsing.

“That day,” Jemma took a shaky breath. “You went to the sublevels of the Lighthouse. Long story short, the dimension you were sent to close manifested the Doctor. You lost control of your emotions, used every last drop of your strength to quake him. That’s why you fractured every single last bone in your hands. That illness you had made it so much worse. Your body was already weak enough; but with that quake, your body broke down. You almost  _ died _ , Daisy. Then we realised to remove your illness, the only way to go is to remove your powers as well,”

“Are you saying,” Daisy swallowed hard. “I don’t have my powers anymore?”

Jemma’s shaking of her head in response may as well have been a high velocity slap across Daisy’s face.

“Why should I believe you?” Daisy was delaying. Buying time. Grasping at straws, trying to find something, anything to stop reality from crashing down on her.

“We have camera footage from that day. Everything that happened was captured on camera. We have medical reports. Mission reports. Patents for the machine we used to remove that illness of yours. Whatever you want to see, we can bring it for you,” Fitz replied, his tone gentle but steady.

At the exact moment,  a giant blockage was unclogged in her brain. Daisy’s brain began unloading new information as quickly as water would gush out. Her walking down a dingy hallway. Seeing the Doctor. Quaking him till kingdom come as rage controlled her like a puppeteer. Till all the bones in her hand were fractured. Collapsing onto the floor and thinking she was moments away from dying. The information was coming in like a mighty tsunami.

Daisy shut her eyes tight and winced. The influx of information was hurting her brain. Jemma noticed and tried to step forward to help her. Daisy immediately held a hand up to block her. 

Jemma stopped in her tracks. She was silent, her lips trembled as she pressed them together to stop herself from crying. All Fitz could do was reach out to place his hand on hers and squeeze it tight. 

Suddenly, Daisy stood up from her chair. The metal scrapped against the floor, producing an ugly, piercing noise.

“I need- I need some time alone,” Daisy’s breathing was shallow and she barely squeezed that sentence out of her mouth. Her vision was blurry; it was clouded with tears. She stormed out and left Fitzsimmons in the pantry, reeling in the aftermath of what they just did.

-

If everything was made up of glass, Daisy felt that everything around her shattered all at once. Except for the floor. The floor was still intact but webs of cracks lined it, on the verge of cracking into pieces and dropping her into the unknown oblivion. Her ears were ringing, skin grazed.

She… had no more powers.

She wasn’t even sure she posed that as a statement or question to herself. She didn’t know how to react. 

Now she felt emptier than ever, an integral part of her lost to the oblivion forever. 

She drifted through the halls of the Lighthouse, not being sure where she wanted to go. At this point, it was her bones and muscles steering the empty vessel that was her. Her mind followed wherever her legs brought her.

Soon, she reached her room. She stepped into her room and closed the door behind her. The bed was just as messy as she left it in the morning. Her room was dingy, to say the least. But it was home. A bunch of white daisies were splayed in a small vase. Placed on her bedside cabinet. A small post-it note was stuck on it.

_ “Returning the favour. Representing the team to tell you: get well soon!  _

_ Love, _

_ Jemma” _

Despite everything, a small smile lit up Daisy’s face and her cheeks flushed. She first found this went she entered her room after two weeks in the medbay, and she never had the heart to throw the note away. So, she pinned it under the vase. The flowers were still somewhat alive after a month, but the edges of the petals were peeling away. The sight of the flowers and note never failed to cheer her up every morning. Now, she couldn’t help but see this gesture differently. Her eyes lingered on the flowers before her hand glided to the drawer and pulled it out. 

The drawer only held one thing. Daisy took it out carefully as if it was a doll made of thin glass. The envelope was slightly yellow, its edges slightly worn out from the many times she held it before. She flipped it repeatedly in her hands, her thumb rubbing over the one word written on the front.

_ Daisy. _

Daisy never opened Coulson’s letter before, mostly because she wasn’t ready. Inside contained his last words to her, handwritten by the man whose hands became shakier as the days went by, to the point he could barely hold a pen. He pressed through to write this letter, and Daisy never felt like she had done enough to feel like she  _ deserved _ to read it.

Now, she hardly cared whether she deserved it or not. With the gentlest hands, she lifted the flap and took out the paper inside. Unlike the envelope, the letter was still a clean white. The ink bled to the flip side of the paper. She opened it up and read.

_ Dear Daisy, _

_ As you know my condition at the time of writing this letter, things aren’t so sunny. I apologise if it appears messy; I’ve tried my best. I believe writing this is the least I can do. _

_ When I first found you years ago, never would I imagine that we would wound up where we are today. You’ve taught me many things, Daisy. Never would I expect to find a daughter in you, a friend, a trusted teammate. Who knew you would go from hacking computers in a van to having powers and saving the world from destruction? I wanna be like you when I grow up. _

_ A few years ago when I began to question who I would pass the position of Director to, my mind naturally drifted to you. It was the most fitting: you’ve grown and matured so much. I tried my best to teach you the ropes, impart everything I know to you. When I finally told you of my intentions, you didn’t accept it; you believed you weren’t ready. And I understand. I shouldn’t have abruptly told you about this and expect you to accept. But I hope that come one day, you’ll be ready. And I firmly believe you’ll do a good job. Maybe even better than me. _

_ I lived a good part of my life amongst gods and superheroes. The one thing I’ve learnt is that even the strongest of beings falter. Everyone has their bad days. Everyone has flaws. But it doesn’t make anyone less worthy or capable. It doesn’t take a psychic to know there will be bad days coming your way. But life moves on no matter what. Remember: after everything, you’re Daisy. Not Quake, the Destroyer of Worlds or whatever new nickname you might get when I’m not here. Others might have expectations of you but you can’t live as someone’s expectations forever. You’re you. And that’s enough. _

_ I can’t say this enough: I am so, so proud of you. More than words can describe. Whether you’re reading this for the first, the fifth or even the hundredth time, I hope you never change. If you do, I hope it’s for the better. Love freely and love fiercely. Believe in yourself. It gets you far. I may no longer be with you physically but you know what some people like to say: I’ll always be in your heart. _

_ Love,  _

_ Philip J. Coulson _

  1. _Do help me take care of everyone. People come and go in this life of ours. It’s hard to find people you can call family, even harder for them to stay for long. And say sorry to Fitz for me; it’s cruel for him to find out like this._



__  
  


She set the letter down on the cabinet, her hands were shaking uncontrollably. Her heart stopped beating and her throat tightened. All she could do was bury her face in her hands. She could barely hold it together. When a rubber band was stretched too far, it would begin to break. Snap. Daisy buried her face into her hands and she snapped, just like a rubber band pulled tight for far too long.

She let everything go and let her feelings take control. The only thing she could do was cry. To cry and cry and cry.  She slumped onto her bed and let the tears fall till sleep mercifully carried her away.

-

A knock awoke Daisy from a slumber. She rolled around in her bed, stretching lazily.

“Come in,” She uttered.

The door opened with a creak and Fitz stepped in. 

“It’s pretty late in the morning and I haven’t seen you around, so I came to check,” Fitz stopped a few metres away from Daisy, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Well, I’m not dead yet,” Daisy forced herself to sit up and she sat at the edge of her bed. Daisy eyed Fitz; his curls were tossed messily. Daisy suddenly realised her eyes were puffy, and Fitz seemed to notice that too. His eyes flickered to the letter sitting on the cabinet and the vase of daisies.

“Rough night?” Fitz asked.

Daisy shrugged and pressed her lips into her thin line.

“Want to tell me about it?” Fitz offered, a kind look in his eyes.

“I opened the letter Coulson wrote to me last night. For the first time,”

Fitz’s mouth formed an ‘O’ upon hearing her. Daisy’s sentence hung in the air for a while before Fitz dropped his arms and strode towards her.

“May I?” Fitz gestured to the empty spot besides Daisy. She nodded and Fitz settled down beside her. He inhaled deeply and both of them shared the silence for a while.

“So… what did he say?” Fitz finally broke the silence by asking.

“How he’s proud of me and advice, among other things,” Daisy paused before she continued. “He also told me to apologise to you for him, you know. That you have to find out the way you did,”

Daisy could feel Fitz suck in a deep breath after her last sentence. He started tapping his thigh as if he was calculating how to respond.

“It hasn’t been easy, huh? For you and me both,” Fitz started carefully.

“It’s harder for you. You literally just found out,” 

“Yea, but that doesn’t make it any less hard for you compared to me,”

“It’s denial, I guess. Now that I… lost my powers, he’s the first person I want to seek comfort from, but he’s just not...here,”

“Well,” Fitz took Daisy’s hands into his. His eyes shifted from their hands to Daisy, his head tilted down. “I’m no Coulson, and I’ll never be able to comfort you the way he did. But I certainly try. 

Daisy chuckled and sniffled. Fitz always had a certain charm to him that made her feel at ease around him. 

“Then my day is yours. Surprise me,” Daisy declared.

“I’ll work my magic. Be right back,” Fitz smirked and bounced up from his seat. He aimed a finger gun at her and strode out of the room.

A smile blossomed on Daisy’s lips. She delicately slid Coulson’s letter back into its envelope and rubbed her thumb over her name one more time. She placed the envelope into the drawer and stored it away. Out of sight, out of mind. She went into the bathroom to change into sweatpants and a loose, oversized tee. She washed her face and brushed her teeth, combed her hair and threw it into a messy bun. By the time she walked out, Fitz was already back. He too had changed into a more relaxed outfit, an old Academy tee and a pair of sweatpants as well. The floor in front of him covered with a variety of different objects. Daisy made out some of the things: mini science kits for kids, card and board games and his Switch console. 

“I told Jemma we’ll be here the entire day, so she might join us later,” Fitz started when he saw Daisy re-entering the room. He swept his arm over the stuff he laid out of the floor. “These are some of the things I thought you might find fun. If not, we can always go bake some cookies, though I’m not sure if they’re gonna be edible. But what counts are the memories made along the way,” 

“We’ll do everything you brought. Then we bake cookies. Make Jemma try them regardless if it’s edible or not,” Daisy pitched.

“Then that shall be our plan today. Come here and pick something to start with,” Fitz signalled her to sit beside him. She settled down and picked the Switch console. Then picked the chip for Overcooked and slid it into the console. As the game started up, Fitz began explaining the game. As she listened keenly, she can’t help but think about how lucky she was to have Fitz by her side. To have someone who knew and understood how she felt. Pick her up on the days where she fell down and the last thing she could do was to stand back up.

This is her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaahh this is the longest chapter i’ve ever written!! though i enjoyed it every step of the way, and i hope you did too. also, it’s official: chapter 8, which is next week, will be the last one! if you’re reading this, thank you for sticking around. i’m working on the final chapter now and i hope i’ll make a grand ending for this story <3


	8. Terra Incognita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy, Jemma and Fitz settle down to talk.

Daisy and Fitz spent the entire day goofing around - they built mini science kits and filled up a page of Fitz’s adult colouring book (Fitz told her he would have it framed and delivered to her room soon). When they got bored staying in her room, they went to the kitchen and miraculously found all the ingredients they need for cookies. So they baked for a good few hours and messed up the kitchen, much to May’s disdain. 

 

“What are you, five?” May said with scorn when she first walked in. Daisy would forever have her first face of reaction imprinted in her mind.

 

After the cookies were fresh out of the oven, they went around the base passing them out, much to the confusion of countless agents. Leopold Fitz and Daisy Johnson, two of S.H.I.E.L.D’s greatest and most esteemed agents, randomly handing out chocolate cookies? Nonetheless, they accepted with a mutter of thanks.

 

They saved the most amount of cookies for Jemma. When they strolled into the lab with a plate of cookies, Jemma was just cleaning up. She shushed them out the moment she saw the cookies, citing “contamination and therefore, safety reasons”. So they retreated into Daisy’s room to have the cookies together. The cookies were bite-sized, soft and crumbled easily in the mouth. Extremely delicious, not a small feat for two people who barely touched kitchen equipment for the past year.

 

“So,” Jemma said between bites. They were sitting on the floor in a small circle besides Daisy’s bed. “How are you coming up?”

 

Everyone knew what she was referring to. How was she coping with the loss of her powers? 

 

“Thanks to Fitz, I’m better than what I was last night. Also, sorry for storming out like that,” Daisy replied, brushing her fingers on her sweatpants to get rid of crumbs.

 

“It’s alright,” Fitzsimmons replied in unison. Daisy smirked a little bit. Always in sync, Fitzsimmons.

 

“How do you feel about losing your powers?” Fitz questioned.

 

Daisy sucked in a deep breath. She didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about how she felt except for last night. Her brain was producing adjectives like bubbles bubbling to the surface in water. Sad. Lost. Maybe a tinge of happiness. Relief. 

 

“I feel a little lost,” Daisy began slowly. “But I’ve survived without them before, I should be okay this time. I always thought about how life would be if I didn’t have powers. Guess I know now. Maybe I’m a little happy. At least I won’t run the chance of cracking the Earth up like an egg again,”

 

Fitzsimmons smirked, the corner of their lips turning up slightly. At this point, they finished what was left of the cookies. Jemma brushed her fingers against her thighs and hugged her knees.

 

“You do know if you need anything, and I mean anything, we’re here for you,” Jemma said, the warmth in her voice omnipresent. Fitz nodded in agreement.

 

“You know what?” Daisy continued, her thoughts forming fast. Words tumbled out without a second thought. “I do feel kinda scared. What if we meet a threat and my powers are the only thing that can save us, but I don’t have them? How am I supposed to protect people? Protect you guys?

 

Who am I without my powers?”

 

“Oh, honey,” Jemma reached for Daisy’s hands and cupped them.

 

“You’re still you. Nothing will ever change that. Even without your powers, you do kick some serious butt,”

 

“But there’ll definitely be times where my powers would have helped us,” Daisy countered.

 

“Then we’ll find another way, like we always do,” Jemma replied, rubbing Daisy’s back emphatically.

 

“From my various life experiences, I did realise that even in bad times you find good,”

 

“Including that time you hallucinated Fitz in a monkey onesie?” Daisy replied with a mischievous grin.

 

“WHAT?” Fitz exclaimed, his voice almost a scream. He turned to Jemma, an eyebrow raised and arms akimbo. 

 

“Care to enlighten me,  _ Ms Simmons _ ?”

 

Daisy and Jemma started giggling, which spiralled into hysterical laughing whenever they made eye contact with one another. Daisy could barely breathe. Her stomach ached and she was crying. Fitz looked on with a confused daze. His eyes darted between the both of them as they carried on laughing and snorting. He was getting increasingly concerned.

 

“E-earth to ladies? Care to tell me why my wife saw me in a monkey onesie?” Fitz finally said after a minute of silent observation and questioning of their sanity. Daisy and Jemma’s laughter dwindled down as they composed themselves, their eyes cloudy with tears, hands clutching their abdomen. 

 

“Well, it all began when we took some space puffies…”

-

  
  


After a long day of fun and laughter, Fitzsimmons eventually retreated back to their room, but not before making sure Daisy was doing okay. Daisy’s heart had never felt so warm and full in a long time. Her emotional batteries were fully recharged, and she was sure Fitz and Jemma’s were too. Feeling exhaustion creep in, Daisy sat on her bed.

 

Her eye caught the glint of her gauntlets. They have been sitting on her drawer for a few days by then and at some point, dust started gathering. Daisy got up and picked up her gauntlets. She shook them gently and watched the dust fly into the air. She sank back into her bed again as she stared at them for a moment, her eyes lingering on where the light bounced off the dull metal.

 

Her gauntlets. She sat in silence, reminiscing about the times where she felt the proudest about her capabilities.

 

“Thank you,” Daisy whispered to her gauntlets, and her grip on them tightened ever so slightly. Talking to inanimate items always seemed stupid and nonsensical to her, because they never reply. They don’t even register what you say because well, they’re inanimate. They have no soul, no thoughts. But Jemma once told her that talking to your belongings, thanking them for what you did with them, was a liberating thing. You can always express gratitude to an item exactly like how you thank a person for helping you. Just because they won’t respond didn’t make it stupid. Daisy finally understood what she meant. These gauntlets brought her through high and low. Without them, she won’t even be close to who she was. They helped her save countless of lives, her own included. 

 

She basked in the moment for a while, shutting her eyes as she relived the many events and incidents she faced as Quake. It was time to just be Daisy Johnson, an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, now and for the rest of her life. Daisy could not help but think about the obstacles that lay ahead of her, the struggles that will be thrown in her way. The uncertainties and fears that would take form in times to come.

 

Little did she know, her life would continue as normal. A new kind of normal that was unexpectedly easy to get used to. Of course, there would be times where she would lift her hands in front of her and expect to produce seismic waves. Yes, there would be days where life would feel emptier, like a core part of her life was missing. There would definitely be days where she would feel like she needed her powers back. But one day, she will learn that she wasn’t less of an agent because she lost her powers. Just like anything else that happened in her life, she found strength found through loss. You lose some, you always gain something back. You become stronger, better. But for now, she’ll put one foot ahead of the other, and take one step at a time.

 

For now, it’s a new beginning.

 

It’s a new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of this story started when I watched the teaser trailer for season 6, and certain scenes sparked an idea in my mind. That idea was this story, and there are indeed scenes from this story that resemble scenes from the teaser, because i drawn the idea directly from it. the story was birthed in my brain for months, so this story is months in the making. this is my first fic with chapters, and i only planned 5 in the beginning. 5 turned to 6, and i ended up with the final 8. writing this challenged me, but it only made me fall in love with writing even more. because of this fanfic, i love creating stories more than ever before, so expect more stories from me, whether you like it or not. aos is the first fandom i began writing stories for, so i'm adding one more thing to the already long list of things that i'm grateful this show gave me (if that makes sense). if you're reading this thanks for reading all the chapters! it really means a lot to me that you guys spend time every week (or a few minutes if you're reading it all at once) to read something i created. thanks for letting me share this story with you guys. i should stop being sappy now but i can never thank you enough for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for making it to the end, I hope you enjoyed it! if you have any comments/ criticism, don't hesitate to let me know! tune in next week for chapter 2, it will going get more painful...


End file.
